Over the past few months I have been sharing my experience and thoughts about talkable moments with my daughters about their menstrual cycles, the facts of life and using U by Kotex Tween products and their website.
While I have always strived to discuss these all important topics naturally, inside I have struggled a little bit with knowing the right words to say. After all these are the facts of life we are talking about, not just random information and I want to be sure that I explain things in such a way that my girls “get it”, not to mention digest the correct information – from me, not anyone else.
Preparing for the Talkable Moments
Lots of talkable moments at our house seem to occur either when I have the girls one on one in the car or one, two or all of them sprawled all over my bed or in the living room late at night. These moments seem to happen naturally for us. It’s rare that I deliberately set a time aside, though I must say I probably should do more of that with my busy work schedule. I certainly want my girls to know that I am accessible.
Breaking the ice for “big talks” never has been an issue for us. For the most part my girls come to me and ask me any questions that come up while they are on their period and the one who has yet to start asks me some questions but tends to ask her “twin” (they are 14.5 months apart) and her “twin” directs her to me.
I gave the girls each a little sack recently for them to carry extra pads and personal items in. They really liked this little gift. I think this is one way to break the ice on talks. I did at one point give one daughter a starter kit of sorts and remember her asking what each thing was for, but I don’t think she completely understood until she started her cycle, which is understandable.
I think bonding moments can occur when we deliberately set aside time to talk about questions our girls might have or to share resources and tools they can read and explore with you. Take Kotex.com/Tween for example, just taking my girls to this site and showing them how to navigate different topics and discussions opened up the door for us to have a very open talk and for me to find out where they are at with their understanding of the different issues we have already covered in other conversations. See Hello Period for specific topics.
Bonding with my daughters has become more challenging the older they grow or at least that’s how I find it as I am working part-time to full-time hours. It takes more effort on my part to concentrate and be focused on them when my mind is going in a million different directions. As I said before those moments come in the car or on our bed when we are just shooting the breeze. It’s amazing what children can come out with once the realize they have your full attention.
Sensitive Topics and Comfort Level
Most of my girls will tell me like it is. If they think something is gross, they’ll say just that or if I’ve talked too much, I’ll be told, “Too much information, Mom.” Then I know to stop or let it be for another time when they are ready. I hate to come across as having a perfect relationship with my girls because we are far from perfect, but for the most part, depending on the day we do have really good relationships. I do worry sometimes and hope I am giving them the information they need to transition into womanhood successfully.
What are your talkable, bonding moments with your daughter(s)?
“I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.”